I’m known for speaking to anyone, especially in shops, restaurants etc. At a restuarant counter today and chatting as usual to the serving staff my wife turned to me and said, “Isn’t it amazing how the human side of people always comes through when we take the trouble to engage in a conversation with them!” Hence the title of this piece.
It is my experience that everyone wants to tell their story, and will do if given the opportunity. At the supermarket checkout just yesterday I asked the lady on the till, “How was your Christmas?” “Amazing,” she said, “the first time in many years that the whole family has been together at Christmas, it was wonderful.” A couple more questions and I knew where her family had met and how difficult the journey had been, what great feelings came from the seeing the family etc. etc. One question is all it took.
As coaches we are always asking questions in all sorts of ways in order to generate conversations that move people forward. If only we could get more of these spontaneous conversations going, outside of the more formal coaching process. How much richer life; more smiles; positive memories; new opportunities and possibilities. It’s extraordinary what one question can do; followed by another, by another, always uncovering the human story underneath.
Having been involved with coaching for many years in many different forms, I notice in myself and my close coaching colleagues, a mindset, an approach to life that’s about curiousity. No surprise really when we spend so many hours supporting others to see new opportunities. We want to hear people and what makes them tick, beyond perhaps their mundane work, or life’s latest challenge / problem. So I responded to my wife, “Yep I agree, it’s part of my life’s mission to give people the opportunity to tell their story.” – whether it’s a snippet here, another there; a declaration that causes another connected thought that’s new, that has the potential for something fresh and different, just by being asked a question!

So many models of coaching,  3 step, 4 step, 5 step, even an 8 step model.  Whilst I do appreciate that all these have their place, and especially for new coaches, are extremely useful for the purposes of ‘navigation,’ I worry a lot that they detract from the basic premise that coaching is a conversation, a focused exchange that is going somewhere, and uses some fundamental skills that seem to me to be key to our unique ability to communicate with each other, to care about each other, and do a great and useful service to/for each other of facilitating thinking and decision making.  I do so wish that we would simplify and get back to basics.  Some of my thoughts, some quotes and some reflective questions are below:

Fundamental skills of coaching:

• Building trusting relationships; where the absolute focus is on the customer / client / coachee / colleague.
• Listening beyond the words with full attention; a special quality of listening, a creative force that can evoke new ideas
• Expert question asking, to discover what’s important, and support the creation of new possibilities
• Ability to put our own agenda aside

Quotes

“Something fundamental changes when people begin to ask questions together. The questions create more of a learning conversation than the normal stale debate about problems.”

Mike Szymanczyk, Chairman and CEO, The Altria Group

“Good questions ………….. like all good conversations, succeed or fail based on what we’re talking about. Good questions – ones that we care about and want to answer – call us outward and to each other. They are an invitation to explore, to venture out, to risk, to listen, to abandon our positions. Good questions help us to become both curious and uncertain, an this is always the road that opens us to the surprise on new insight.”

Juanita Brown, “The World cafe: shaping our futures through conversations that matter”

“True learning organisations are a space for generative conversations and concerted action which creates a field of alignment that produces tremendous power to invent new realities in conversation and to bring about these new realities in action.”

Fred Kofman and Peter Senge, “Communities of Commitment”

 Questions, Listening, Conversations and Reflections

Think of a time when you felt heard and really listened to. What were the conditions that enabled that to happen?

Consider an upcoming important meeting, how might you create a special quality of  listening, to and for others, so as to evoke new ideas?

Knowing you …. how does your ‘special quality of listening’ need to change to be more effective?

What are your challenges to having better quality conversations?

Consider the conversations you are currently having with customers, and/or those that are important to you in any context. To what degree do they create frustration and fragment efforts, OR offer new insights and ways to work collectively and collaboratively?

If you were to accept the perspective that conversation really is a core process for accessing collective intelligence and co-evolving the future, what practical difference would that make in how you can approach conversations?

 New Behaviours

Pick an upcoming conversation that matters:

What one specific thing might you do, or what one choice might you make that would improve the quality of that conversation for all parties involved?

How might your success in this drive success in your business, your life, your friends and colleagues, customers, coachees and just about everyone you meet?

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An amazing set of positive words that contribute to the meaning and values of coaching, irrespective of context:

vision, values, beliefs, learning, self, others, exploration, possibilities, potential, me, transformation, learning about things, emotions, mind and body, awareness, action, epiphany, light-bulb-moments, aha!, liberation, self actualisation, culture, whole person, self knowledge, understanding, truth, challenges, contribution, decisions, individual, non-judgemental, improvement, attention, intention, self enhancement, experience, experiment, safe, trusting, enabling, raising awareness, developing actions, my way, knowledge, goal, direction, journey, visionary, contribution, new behaviour, self development, responsibility, questions, relationship, shifts, movements, choice, focus, evolving, knowing, personal, cultural, forward looking, change, positive, appreciative, whole-person, affiliation, direction, new belief, liberating belief, incisive questions, moving forward questions, accountability, self awareness, commitment, action, results, curiousity, exploring, new horizons, forward, agreements, vision, future

3 min coaching words brainstorm

The above is how http://www.wordle.net sees it!

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Coaching can be a very rewarding.

It’s the ideal career / activity choice for those who:

• Like to work with people
• Have a strong desire to see people excel in their lives
• Are prepared to let others do the talking
• Can connect with people and listen with interest and empathy
• Are willing to put aside their own agenda when dealing with others
• Have an open mind
• Who see possibility and potential in people whatever their status
• Are creative in their thinking
• Are prepared to be tough with people
• Are prepared to be honest with people
• Are enthusiastic and happy individuals
• Have their lives well sorted
• Are interested in continuing to learn and grow

Questions for aspiring coaches

one of the fundamental tenets of coaching is to focus on others, so can you:

• Listen in a nonjudgmental, open-minded manner?
• Ask questions that are genuinely intended to expand the thinking and awareness of others?
• Effortlessly create a dialogue with people?
• Explore people’s issues and test solutions with them, without imposing or prescribing your own point of view?
• Support your people to improve their capabilities and performance over the long term?
• Generously give of your time and resources for the benefit of others?
• Inspire others by passionately sharing the stories about your experiences, successes, failures, and creative ways to improve results with limited resources?
• Be focused on empowering others to act?
• Give up telling or dictating and encourage others to take responsibility and come to their own decisions / conclusions?
• Work with others to create a compelling vision of the future to which they are committed?
• Give feedback which is focused on the positive, and builds the capability of others to succeed?

Now some questions that can assist us to evaluate the suitability of candidates for coach training.  We are looking for responses that:

• Indicate a high level of self-awareness
• Would indicate an approach that is non judgemental, curious, exploratory, asks questions etc. as distinct from emotional and self centred, full of ego etc.
• Indicate an orientation / preference towards service to other people

Here we go:

Having read the above, some questions for you:

• What’s your reaction overall?
• What makes you say that?
• Where are your strengths?
• How have you used these strengths in the past?
• What were the results?
• How did it make you feel?
• Tell me about a specific example where you supported the growth / development of someone.
• What are the areas for your further development?
• What do you know about yourself and/or your behaviours that cause you to choose these areas?
• When working with groups or individuals who have very different views to you, how do you react?
• Coaching is a lot about supporting the success / growth of others:
• What do you think about this?
• Coaching is also about not imposing our own solutions, thoughts and feelings on others, more about supporting others to think for themselves and come to their own conclusions.
• What are you thought on this?
• Based on what you know so far, is coaching for you?

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For discussion purposes only

Introduction.

Management keep a close eye on the costs of most items in their profit and loss account e.g. office rent, salaries, rent and marketing.  The cost of learning and development programmes, including coaching, is usually less well controlled mainly because it is harder to measure.  Consequently, in times of economic hardship the L&D budget is more difficult to defend.

As learning and development professionals (and business people) we could take the lead in working out ways to collect evidence of the effectiveness of our L&D initiatives.  It seems that this desire is driven by:

(a) A desire for proof that what we are doing is working.

(b) A desire to improve what we are doing.  To do this we need to know what is/not working.

(c) Most people are more likely to put effort into an L&D project if they know it is going to be measured and that the measurements will be acted on.

(d) To demonstrate our commercial and financial awareness.

I find the following situations easy to assess the effectiveness of what I am doing:

(a) A programme of 1 to 1 coaching/ mentoring over a period of months, particularly if the sponsor has been involved in creating the coaching goals.

(b) Working regularly with the same intact team.

The financial benefits of facilitated workshops and training courses are less clear.  The following ideas, some of which organisations will already be using, could help us improve our evaluation.

1. Planning stage

(a) Helping participants identify their learning objectives through the use of a 180° or 360° feedback.

(b) Ensuring each individual’s plan for L&D is aligned with their personal development objectives/targets.

(c) Selecting a method of learning that is most suited to each participant’s learning styles.

(d) Ensuring that the participants speak to their managers to agree specific learning objectives as well as the method(s) by which the managers will help the participants put the learning into practice.

(e) Asking participants, before they attend a coaching programme or training workshop, to acquire basic knowledge by e.g. reading about the topic.

2. Assessment

Prior to attending a workshop or course, an on-line questionnaire could be used to assess the participants’ level of understanding of what they have been asked to prepare.

3. During the workshop or training course

(a) The facilitator should create an optimum environment for learning and behavioural change.  The facilitator should also look beyond the end of the workshop and think of ways of encouraging the participants to implement the learning.

(b) The participants should continuously check their own progress towards meeting their specific learning objectives and proactively seek ways of meeting them before the end of the session.

(c) At the end of the workshop each of the participants should complete a reaction* sheet to capture their feelings about the learning experience as their feelings have a bearing on whether there will be ongoing behavioural change.

4. Some months after the workshop/coaching programme

(a) Carry out an assessment of what the participants have learned: (i) directly related to their learning objectives/coaching goals; and (ii) other useful insights and tips.

(b) Identify changes in desired behaviour by e.g. line manager feedback; or a tailored L&D effectiveness survey.  Note however that little evidence of change of behaviour may be due to the culture of the company or team e.g. an employee with the potential to be highly creative might be working in an environment of impossibly tight deadlines or where creativity is not rewarded by the immediate line manager.

(c) Ascertain the results of the L&D intervention.  What evidence can be produced to support a positive return on investment?  Examples might be as follows:

1. Team wins a contract
2. Individual meets sales target
3. Individual is promoted
4. Staff retention has improved
5. Higher scores on customer/staff surveys
6. More open culture and higher level of trust.

Now put a financial estimate on each of the above and then estimate, in percentage terms, L&D’s contribution to the overall success.  Example, management put a value of 20,000 Euros on promoting a manager from within the company, whereas 8 months ago they thought they would have to recruit from outside the company.  Of this they apportioned 45% i.e. 9,000 Euros to the specific L&D course/coaching programme the staff member attended.

Conclusion

Measuring the effectiveness of L&D is more of an art than a science.  We need to find a balance between:

(a) L&D being a pure act of faith and

(b) Planning and collecting evidence

that satisfies management and ourselves.

Richard Fox, The Learning Corporation LLP

*Note: The emboldened words ‘reaction’, ‘learned’, ‘behaviour’ and ‘results’ have been taken from Don Kirkpatrick’s classic ‘Four Levels Evaluation Model’

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THE MANAGER AS COACH

An Introduction to Coaching

by

RICHARD FOX

Preface

Coaching and being coached are essential activities for 21^st century business leaders and managers.  In an environment of uncertainty, intense competition and globalisation of markets, innovation, creativity and improved performance are vital to business success.

“People, not capital, are businesses’ most vital asset.  An organisation must innovate more and more often to meet the accelerated pace of change and its people must develop the learning skills that serve as the basis for innovation.” from Olalla & Echeverria ‘Management by Coaching,’ in HR Focus V73 N1.

Fostering a learning environment in a hierarchic, control-based management framework is difficult if not impossible.  Leaders must come out of their offices, clearly declare where they want the business to go; assert strongly the values by which the business will be done; encourage, develop and inspire the work force; help people be the best they can be; involve them in the decision making process and create an environment of learning, improvement and development.

A prime tool for you as a leader or manager is coaching. It is through coaching that your people will be enabled to reach their true potential for the good of the business and themselves.  Coaching provides a blend of thinking for oneself and learning through the experience of others.  Coaching leads naturally to greater awareness in your people, and to greater responsibility being taken for their own actions, and a visibly higher level of commitment in the work force; just the environment required for survival and success for businesses today and in the future.

This booklet has been arranged in the following sections:

1.  Introduction

2.  What is coaching?

3.  How does coaching differ from other forms of support?

4.  What does coaching cover?

5.  What are the benefits of coaching?

6.  How long does coaching take?

7.  How do I set up a coaching contract?

8.  What is the coach’s role during the coaching sessions?

9.  Some coaching models and processes

10.  What are the key attributes and skills of a coach?

11.  How do I select an external coach?

12.  Where can I get further information?

1.  Introduction

An increasing number of managers are benefitting from coaching.  Its popularity is due to one or more of the following:

(a)         Recognising that many able leaders, in all walks of life, who wish to increase their effectiveness in these fast changing times get themselves a coach.

(b)         The desire of many people to improve their personal, team working and leadership skills.

(c)         An opportunity to talk things over with someone who does not have an axe to grind and to use this independent person as a sounding board for bouncing ideas.

At present anyone can call themselves a coach or a mentor.  The term ‘coach’ is often used interchangeably with ‘mentor’ – part of the reason for this is an effective mentor uses a coach approach and coaching skills.

I hope this booklet will encourage you to adopt more of a coach approach when working with colleagues, customers and suppliers.  Why?  Because there is statistical evidence that a coaching style (supportive/asking questions) is generally more effective than a traditional (directive/telling them what to do) approach.

Rather than keep repeating the term ‘manager as coach’ most of the time I will just use the words ‘coach’ or ‘you’.

This booklet will give you an idea of what coaching is, how you can incorporate a coach approach and coaching skills in your day to day leadership and management and what to look for if you want to select an external coach.

2.  What is coaching?

Let’s start off with two of many definitions of coaching and look at some of the key words used.

“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximise their own performance.  It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them”

Timothy Gallwey, Author ‘The Inner Game of Work’

You will notice that:

(a) The emphasis is on the other person (the ‘coachee’); and on their performance and potential.

(b) Coachees often significantly undervalue their own potential and may also be blissfully unaware of their 2-to-4 unique talents and strengths.

(c) The focus is on learning, not teaching.  This requires you as coach to be aware of the different range of learning and thinking preferences.

“Coaching is an ongoing partnership that will help you produce fulfilling results in your vocation and personal life.  Through the process of coaching you will deepen your performance and enhance the quality of your life.”

Richard Fox, Partner The Learning Corporation LLP

I have used the word ‘partnership’ as there are two people involved each with different roles.  The coachee is primarily responsible for the content of the conversations and for taking any action.  You are responsible for creating the optimum environment for thinking and learning and for using relevant processes.

As coaching conversations are about specific work related issues, the reference in the above quotation to ‘quality of life’ may seem a bit strange.  However, when a coachee enjoys an improvement in their work situation this tends to have a positive knock-on effect on the rest of the coachee’s life.  The example that springs readily to my mind is a coachee who has achieved a stretching sales target.

3.  How does coaching differ from other forms of support?

This section outlines the main difference between coaching/mentoring and counselling/therapy.  Let me try and illustrate this with an actual example.  About 12 years ago a business associate contacted me.  She said she had a friend who wanted to set up her own business and was looking for a coach and asked if I could meet her.  I had an introductory session with this person and fairly early on in the meeting she said she was in the process of going through a difficult divorce, at which point she became very upset.  We both agreed that her priority was to get over the trauma of her divorce.  I suggested she worked with a qualified counsellor or therapist, then when she was more able to plan her future we could, if she wished, meet again to be coached or mentored on her new business venture.

Coaching and mentoring function on the basis that the coachee’s current situation is OK and that the coachee is resourceful and able to engage with a reflective process and move forward.

Even if you are a trained counsellor or therapist, topics like dealing with trauma, addictions to chemical substances, being abused as a child are outside the scope of coaching or mentoring.  If these surface during a conversation then you should signpost the coachee to a qualified therapist or counsellor.  In practice this rarely happens mainly because the other person knows the type of specialist they should be talking to.

The distinctions between coaching and mentoring are less pronounced and, as mentioned earlier, the terms are often used interchangeably in the UK.

Generally speaking, a mentor is chosen because they have more experience in the area in which the mentee wishes to develop.  For example:

(a) If an employee wants to understand a new technical process they might want to pick the brains of an experienced person and this could be referred to as a mentoring relationship.  The same employee might also want to ask you or another manager to coach them on other work related areas e.g. improving self confidence or networking skills.

(b) In large organisations an employee is often coached by his/her line manager on short term performance topics and mentored by a manager from another department on longer term career opportunities or on the transfer of specific technical knowledge

So with mentoring prior experience of the issue under discussion is more important than with coaching.  The mentor does not have to be older than the mentee.  For example, when I have problems with my laptop or with my BlackBerry or iPod I turn to a 27 year old for support – no 8 year olds being readily available!

The following chart is an attempt to illustrate where the use of counselling, therapy, coaching or mentoring is the most appropriate form of support.

The most productive relationships come where you build on the coachee’s knowledge and experience.  ‘If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day.  If you help him learn how to fish he will feed himself for life’.

4.  What does coaching cover?

To give you an idea of the range of topics covered in coaching conversations, here are some of the topics raised by my coachees in the last six months.  How to:

• Use time more effectively.
• Delegate.
• Create a team.
• Prepare a vision and plan.
• Agree the organisation’s key values.
• Unearth my talents and strengths.
• Handle a difficult situation.
• Improve my presentation skills.
• Become more self confident or resilient.
• Prepare for a promotion/new position.
• Chair meetings more effectively.
• Get the best out of sub contractors.
• Set up working groups to tackle specific opportunities/challenges.
• Find a personal assistant.
• Improve work-life balance.
• Understand my own identity.

5.  What are the benefits of coaching?

The benefits to the coachee:

• Chance to learn and grow in specific area(s) and in a safe, confidential environment.
• Gain different perspectives on an issue/opportunity.
• Opportunity to think aloud.
• Support in thinking through problems/opportunities.
• Chance to identify and unlock potential.
• Increase level of personal responsibility/ownership.
• Readiness to take on more responsibility.
• Greater clarity regarding a task or role.
• Increased self-awareness.
• ‘Just in time’ support on a topic coachee wants to develop.
• Increase certainty/reduce doubt.
• Be stretched and readily agree to goals that are higher than coachee would have set her/himself.
• The ‘real’ problem has been unearthed.
• Knowledge transfer from the coach.

Benefits to the coach:

• Satisfaction of seeing someone else develop as a team player and leader.
• Learn from the coachee’s different perspectives.
• Develop own skills as a leader (see above and also section 6).
• Can lead to a recognised coaching qualification.
• The following benefits apply when the person is using a coaching style with his/her own team:

–  Alignment of roles and goals.

–  Increased delegation.

–  Increased retention of people.

–  Opportunity to get feedback as a leader.

Benefits to the organisation:

• Increased effectiveness and performance of people.
• More open culture.
• Easier to recruit people if coaching is offerred to all newcomers.
• More people able to deal with queries.
• Increased staff retention
• It’s portable and offers a good return on the investment of time.

Leading on from the last point, a further benefit of coaching is that it can be done ‘any time, any place, anywhere’.  Coaching might occur in a 4 minute conversation in a coffee break, or whilst going for a walk during the lunchtime, or during a longer pre-planned meeting, or in a phone conversation.

6.  How long does coaching take?

Coaching is usually 1 to 1 and face to face.  It is also possible to coach individuals successfully over the phone.  For example, in September and October 2010 I coached executives who are based in Chile, China, Abu Dhabi, Muscat, India, Holland (3 people) and Italy.  With 3 of these 8 people we used Skype and webcams so were able to see each other as well as have cost-free phone calls.

The timing and frequency of coaching sessions varies considerably depending on the needs of the coachee.  Those who have a single performance issue might attend 1-4 one hour sessions over a period of 2-3 months.  Others might like to meet 2-4 times a year.  The majority of my coaching clients have three or four areas that they want to work on.  They opt for up to 6 sessions each of 1 to 1.5 hours, meeting every 4-6 weeks.  There is a clear understanding on both sides that we will stop or change the programme if the coachee has achieved what they came for, or if the personal chemistry is not right.  So, for example, one very able person came to me to be coached on changing her career.  She did an enormous amount of research between our sessions and after session 3 we both had a clear plan of her next steps and we ended the coaching programme.

7.  How do I set up a coaching contract?

When I am engaged by an organisation to coach one or more of their employees I normally like to meet the potential coachee together with his/her sponsor or line manager so that the three of us can reach a shared understanding of (a) what we mean by ‘coaching’; (b) the areas the coachee wants to work on; (c) the confidential nature of the conversations between the coachee and me; and (d) the format of any review meeting between the sponsor and the coachee at the end of the programme.

During the first 1 to 1 coaching session we carry out some ‘contracting’.  We agree how we want to work together and we reaffirm the confidential nature of our discussions.  We then clarify where we want to meet and the 2-4 areas that the coachee wants to work on.  It is helpful if these topics are as discrete/separate from each other as possible.  We then set clear goals and well-formed outcomes for each topic.  During sessions 2-5 inclusive we make progress on each of the goals.  One of the maxims coaches use is “The problem presented is not the problem”.  So it is not unusual to rethink a goal.

During the final session the coachee is asked to summarise the learnings gained from the programme and their plan to sustain and enhance the new behaviours.

8.  What is the coach’s role during the coaching sessions?

Before each coaching conversation takes place you should create an optimum environment for thinking and learning.  One coaching school refers to ‘Clearing the Space’.  This involves tidying up the room, clearing away distracting papers, diverting incoming phone calls etc.  Equally important, it includes clearing your head so that you can become totally present with the coachee.

When the coachee arrives time should be set aside to (re)build rapport, put the coachee at ease, check that s/he is OK to start the coaching conversation and is unlikely to be interrupted.

So your role as a coach is to create the right environment for the coachee, to ask questions and ensure that the coachee has conversations of value.  By providing coachees time and space to think through issues you are also giving them a greater opportunity to learn and grow and to find solutions that will work for them.  A rookie (novice) coach needs to avoid trying to fix the coachee’s problems.  It is helpful to remember that ‘The coachee has access to all the resources needed to deal with this particular issue’.  Strange as it may seem, most of these resources are already present within the coachee, waiting to be teased out.

9.  Some coaching models and processes

Coaches are trained in how to use one or more models/processes.  A model/process is useful in that it provides a structure and can help ensure that the coaching conversation has real value.  It also helps ensure that no essential steps are omitted.  For example, I have a natural preference to spend time on helping the coachee create compelling goals and generate choices.  I’m less inclined to focus on detailed actions and timetables because, being a well organised activist, this comes as second nature to me.  So a model or process helps both the coach and coachee manage their preferred styles and ensure that all key aspects are covered.

As a coach you need to guard against the model becoming a straitjacket and/or trying to complete the whole process during a single coaching conversation.

The most famous coaching model, which was developed by Sir John Whitmore, is the GROW model to which I have added two further steps to create GROWER.

The GROWER model, like other coaching models, comprises a series of questions under each of the letters G R O W E and R.  There are countless questions you could ask under each letter.  For brevity’s sake some key questions are:

10.  What are the key attributes and skills of a coach?

Here are some key attributes and skills of a coach and which any manager or leader might also wish to enhance:

(a)    The ability to build rapport, trust and credibility.

In coaching it is credibility as a coach, not as an industry or subject matter expert, that is important.

(b)    The ability to be totally present and connected with the coachee throughout the whole session.

(c)    Listening skills.

On our coach training courses we use the term ‘listening beyond the words’.  By this we mean:

1. Noticing the varying pitch and tone in the coachee’s voice, the energy (or lack of it) behind certain statements.
2. Reading body language including eye movements, facial colouring, breathing, symetrical or asymetrical hand movements.
3. Language preferences, e.g. Is the coachee using visual imagery to think through the topic?  If so, match the coachee’s language preference to get onto the same wavelength as the coachee.  Does the coachee have a preference for thinking conceptually or are they more inclined to think in logical, step by steps?  Again, initially match this and then complement the coachee’s strong preferences by covering points they might otherwise overlook.
4. It helps to know what level (‘Logical Level of Experience’- Robert Dilts) the coachee is operating from.  For example, is the coachee saying that they cannot do something because:

–      It conflicts with their sense of who they are (Identity), or

–      They do not believe it is possible (Beliefs), or

–      They haven’t the skills to do it (Capabilities), or

–      There is no budget (Environmental)?

1. ‘Hold the space’.  Be comfortable with silence.  You have asked the coachee a question.  It may be about a topic they have struggled with for years or a question they have never asked themselves.  Give the coachee the time and space to process the question.  Keep out of the way.  After all, the word ‘listen’ is an anagram of ‘silent’.
2. Being able to keep the coachee on track, to summarise and reflect back, to help the coachee focus on the nub of the issue e.g. to ask ‘In one word, what is the issue?’

(d) Being able to ask a range of appropriate questions.  Some of the traps a novice coach, manager or leader is likely to fall into are:

1. Asking too many closed questions.  A closed question is one that results in an either/or answer such as ‘Will you start tomorrow?’  So when going through each step in the G R O W E R sequence it is useful to start by using open questions in order to generate a discussion and to use closed questions when summarising or concluding each step.
2. Thinking of the next question whilst the coachee is talking instead of being totally present with the coachee.  Relax.  The coachee’s comments provide the next question.
3. Asking leading questions which steer the coachee towards the coach’s line of thinking.  Instead practice using ‘clean language’ ¹(David Grove) and learn to work with any metaphors the coachee might use.
4. Asking a multiple question, i.e. 2-3 questions wrapped into one long sentence.  Practice asking a single question in a sentence of less than 10 words.
5. Overusing a question beginning with the word ‘why’ e.g. ‘Why did you do that?’  The coachee could feel that the you are being judgemental.  Rudyard Kipling had five other marching men so vary the questions by starting with what, how, when, who, where…………………………..?.

(e)  Manage your own body language as well as your words.  Your raised eyebrow speaks volumes!

(f)  Manage your own personal preferences.  Ideally, you should be aware of your personal preferences regarding learning styles[1] (Honey and Mumford);  multiple learning intelligences[2] (Howard Gardner), or at least representational systems[3] (Robert Dilts and others); basic drivers/motivations[4] (David McLelland); communication styles[5] (DiSC); team role preferences[6] (Meredith Belbin); managing change (Richard Fox and others).

On our Manager as Coach training course we introduce a very useful diagnostic which was designed specifically for coaches.  It is called a ‘Personal Coaching Styles Inventory’ and is sold by Corporate Coach U.  It highlights the user’s strong and weak coaching style preferences over four categories:Director, Mediator, Presenter, and Strategist/Analyst.

(g) Have a light touch.  If you are not careful, some coaching discussions can become a bit too serious and heavy and you hear a lot of ‘I should’, ‘I must’ type statements.  Life is complicated for some folk.  Attempt to keep a light touch on the tiller.  More likely than not the coachee will see the funny side of the situation and you both end up laughing.  ‘A smile is a curved line that puts things straight’.

(h) Tease out the learning.  Coaches sometimes talk about two simultaneous journeys, the ‘outer journey’ and the ‘inner journey’.  An example of the outer journey is a coachee who becomes more effective at delegating.  However, the coach will also be keen to tease out what else the coachee has learned during this outer journey.  For example the coachee may say something along the following lines:

“Although I wanted your support in resolving a difficult relationship in my department, I realise that I have a history of not facing up to difficult situations.

I have been a softie.  I did not deal with this earlier because I did not want to upset anyone.  I let people take advantage of me.  I need to be personally courageous as well as considerate to others.  That’s the ‘ah ha’ I have had about being a leader”.

(i)  Avoid dependency.  The purpose of your coaching relationship is to help the coachee work through some specific goals and to tease out the learnings of their inner journey.  It is also about supporting the coachee in building up greater personal responsibility and effectiveness.

During a coaching programme a strong friendship can emerge.  However, the final session is an occasion for the coachee to summarise what they have got out of the programme and, if relevant, the support system they will use in future.  As a coach avoid persuading the coachee to book up a for a further n sessions and hold the coachee to attend the whole programme.  When the work is done, end the programme.

Coachees have only come back to me for a second or third programme as a result of a significant change in their role.

11.  How do I select an external coach?

Probably the most effective way to find an external coach is by personal recommendation, from someone who has had a good experience of coaching or by speaking to your HR director or HR manager.

An alternative and less reliable route is to look at lists of coaches on websites such as:

(a)  International Coach Federation – UK,   www.coachfederation.org.uk

(b)  Association for Coaching,   www.associationforcoaching.com

It is important to meet, or at least phone, the potential coach(es) to find out more about them e.g. years as a coach, coach qualifications, experience of working with business managers, and their style of coaching.  Then ask about the length, frequency and format of typical coaching sessions, the characteristics of an excellent coaching relationship, their fee and the names and phone numbers of people who could provide references.

After this conversation ask yourself ‘How confident am I that we can build rapport with this person?  Will this coach be sufficiently challenging?  Will s/he be able to understand my issues/opportunities?’

12.  Where can I get further information?

For an introductory book on coaching I recommend ‘Coaching for Performance’ by John Whitmore, published by Nicholas Brealey.  For information about coaching generally have a look at

www.coachfederation.org

and for useful articles and models, one of our own websites:

www.coachingknowhow.com

To read the core competencies of coaching please refer to

http://www.coachfederation.org/icfcredentials

[1] www.peterhoney.com

[2] www.howardgardner.com

[3] www.robertdilts.com – encyclopedia – representational systems

[4] www.wikipedia.org – David McClelland – achievement, power and affiliation

[5] www.thediscpersonalitytest.com

[6] www.belbin.com

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• Money Merge Account Analysis Pt 11 When I was discussing Mortgage interest, I received a few emails asking to to spell out a bit more clearly how regular mortgages calculate interest vs how home equity lines of credit (HELOCs) calculate. Fair enough. One disclaimer; before you act on my explanation here, confirm with your bank that......
• Money Management Questions and Answers How can money management techniques be applied to my life? - The first step is to realize that you could possibly have an overspending problem. This is the number one reason why people get over their head financially. You can easily consult with a money management counselor that will help......
• Review of the Richest Man in Babylon This is probably one of the most commonly used books by those who are looking to create wealth. It first came onto the scene in 1926, and shot to fame during the Great Depression as the desperate populace looked for a way out of poverty. While this book does raise......
• Time Management Strategies For Internet Marketers Internet marketing entails many different aspects, and one problem that often arises is the inability to juggle all these responsibilities at the same time. In order to be able to successfully manage all these tasks, you need some practical time management strategies. If you apply the time management advice we'll......
• Choosing a Great Investment Manager You know that past returns are not indicators of future performance, right? You've read that on a billion mutual prospectuses. Nonetheless people tend to use their past returns as their primary motivation for selecting new ventures and speculations. This is probably a combination of everyday human nature, the historical charts......